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Me? A Pastor’s Wife?

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As a “newbie” to full-time ministry, I am trying to get this thing called being a “ministry wife” right. You see, after more than 12 years in the high-tech industry, my husband received God’s call to become a full-time worship pastor for our church. After hearing the news, friends said, “You’re going to be a pastor’s wife?” And then they started to laugh.

Hey, are they laughing at me or at the idea of me as a pastor’s wife? I thought. The feelings and questions began to take over: fear, despair, excitement, worry, anxiety and more excitement.

Although I knew this was God’s calling, and I supported my husband in his obedience, I was shaking my fist at God. Why me, Lord? Does this come with a tutorial? I know You will not forsake us, but are You sure about this?

Once, as I was driving home from taking my kids to school, I wept over the decision that I felt had already been made for us. I pounded my fist on the wheel of our van, aching at the thought of what we might lose, not really thinking through all that we would gain in Christ.

As more questions began to wash over me, I reasoned that this was not what I had signed up for. I had married a wonderful man who loved the Lord, had a great job and was a great father and husband. I was in for the “comfy-Christian” life.

Yet comfort is not what God has called us to. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10). Comfort is something that we sacrifice as children of Christ. In that light, the word that comes to mind in describing my attitude is “selfishness.” What a despicable thing. Yet, that was my thorn as we made the transition into ministry.

I began to pray earnestly for a fresh revelation. I asked specifically for God to bring to me women who were in positions similar to my own—mothers who worked outside their homes and supported their husbands’ full-time ministries. God came through. He blessed me with some amazing women to assist me through the transition and, to be honest, to help me get over myself!

One of them shared with me what her mentor told her: “The best advice I can tell you, sweetie, is to be yourself and don’t make them change one thing about you!” All of this is a work in progress, just like my relationship with Christ. He has added a little bit of depth and breadth to my walk with Him, but there is a lot more room for growth, and I welcome that.

Our family members are still learning God’s entire will and purpose, and we continue to enjoy the journey. I confess that there are still days when I wonder about whether God knew what He was doing or if there were lines crossed “upstairs.” Yet, when I want to raise my fist in defiance, His gentle voice leads me instead to raise holy hands in humility.

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