Dread. Anxiety. Intimidation. Young ministry leaders experienced these gut-level emotions recently as they prepared for a three-day camp to honor their nonbelieving parents.
“During our 13 years of bringing young people to the Lord through our university outreach and discipling them toward Kingdom service, their parents’ influence has been a constant theme,” says Anne,* an Alliance international worker.
Anne and her husband, Paul,* began the thriving ministry in this North and Central Asia Region nation where for more than a generation every attempt has been made to eradicate Christianity’s influence.
Persecution
“These atheistic parents do not understand their children’s faith choices—especially those that involve being ridiculed and not making money,” Anne observes.“They have been a source of persecution and many tears, telling their Jesus-following offspring things like, ‘You’re joining the ranks of the ignorant,’ ‘You’re betraying our ancestors,’ ’You’re deceived by these foreigners!’
“Or, worst of all, ‘You’ve failed us and disappointed us; we’ve given all we have to you and this is how you pay us back?’”
Filial piety (the virtue of respect for one’s parents, elders, and ancestors), a deeply held value in the culture, compounds the pressure to defer to parental wishes. “This is why the prospect of this retreat was so intimidating—these 22 young adults were facing their parents, the source of their deepest fear,” Anne says.
Leading by Serving
As these young leaders have grown in their faith and leadership responsibilities, reaching out to seekers and discipling new believers, Paul and Anne have encouraged them to “parent their parents” in the spiritual sense. “We have told them to love them as they would anyone to whom they’re ministering,” she adds. “Lead by serving them.”
The three-day camp, suggested by a U.S. church partner, was an opportunity to demonstrate this honoring posture.
After months of preparation, including 60 days of fasting and prayer, 31 parents arrived for camp. Six older couples from the U.S. partner church, designated to be special ambassadors, also attended. Since they possessed “enough age and clout to engage the nonbelieving seniors,” Anne’s septuagenarian parents were invited to be the “venerable speakers.”
Camp Details
At the opening ceremony, the team of ambassadors was introduced. A video was shown of the young leaders expressing to their parents that this camp was a gift to them.
During the three days, the short-term team of seniors connected well with the parents, building bonds with them at tea times and through group games.
First-Time Family Experiences
Planned family times gave the young leaders opportunities to engage with their parents through shoulder massages and sharing hugs—most for the first time. Corporate times of worship included singing songs replete with hand motions.
During one session, a young leader tearfully thanked her mom for the first time, recounting her mother’s steadfast love despite a husband who beat her “almost lifeless” and then abandoned the family.
“Paul and I just sat back in awe at all the ‘firsts’ these participants shared as families and the transformation that took place during the three-day camp,” Anne says. “The Holy Spirit was powerfully at work.”
27 Parents Make Decisions for Christ
At the closing service, Anne’s father gave an alter call, asking the young leaders to encourage their parents to “follow the heavenly way.” Of the 31 parents attending, 27 responded by standing up. “What a miracle!” Anne exclaims. “God has done a great thing among us!”
She notes that follow-up with these parents is needed to ensure the clarity of their understanding about this major life choice. “Nevertheless, they stood up; and that’s the open door. This is a modern-day miracle—a version of the Jericho wall crumbling.”
*Names changed